I smile and joke when I just want to be left alone.
Sometimes, I cry for no reason, or get so angry I scare even myself.
I can deal with angry. I cannot deal with sadness. Days go by where I don’t deal at all.
I don’t shower, I don’t eat or I over eat, I don’t leave my room. Hell I’m at a point right now where it takes everything in me to leave the house.
There are days when I’m in pain and there is no logical explanation as to why.
Periods of time elapse where I think about suicide every single day. My children have continued to save my life.
I can’t focus or concentrate on anything. My thoughts continue to race even when I’m asleep. It is difficult for me to finish anything.
I shop to make myself feel better. I have problems paying my bills, and then the cycle of worrying starts.
I love my children. I have to force myself to care for them.
I love to write, yet weeks will go by without me writing a word.
I love my family but I would rather not be bothered.
I love summer, but this is also the hardest season for me.
Last summer I spent time in PES. I was medicated and I felt okay for a few months.
I’m struggling again.
I have no shame admitting that I need help.
I have no shame admitting that I have been diagnosed and suffer from bipolar disorder.