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The Host— A Movie Review/Rant

Disclaimer: If you are a Stephanie Meyer aka Twilight Saga fan or Stan, do not continue reading. Unless you are a teenage girl her work is trash. This is my opinion and it is not up for debate. Any ways….

I have a great friend. We get along well because he is the troop leader to his local chapter of Geeks. (Not really but you know what I’m saying)  We like most of the same type of action packed, thriller, sy-fy movies. He usually introduces me to movies that I rave about for weeks making everyone else I know rent or buy them.  I don’t think he has ever showed me a movie that I didn’t love…until the other night.

The Host is one of those movies I wanted to give benefit of the doubt to. This was of course before I realized Stephanie Meyer had anything to do with it.  How could this movie not be awesome?  Alien invasion because humans fail to be socially and morally responsible this had to make for a great plot, right?

I’m not going to waste time setting the movie up. Here is a link to the synopsis.

Image

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Host_(2013_film)

Libations poured, e-cigs out, and ready for any distraction from the drama real life was dealing us, we started the movie. I was initially freaked out. I could not even follow the story line because the characters have weird eyes.  It is not enough that we can hear Wanda/Melanie’s thoughts and know that something just isn’t right, we are given a visual. How would we ever know these aliens had invaded the bodies of humans if not for crazy contacts?

 At some point I started giggling and dissecting the plot.  I was in shock that this movie ever made it the theater. I asked my friend several times if he was certain it was not released straight to DVD.  There was nothing science fiction about this movie.  

Here are the top reasons why this movie irritated me:

  • The attempts to make the same tired old love story relevant failed.  There was nothing edgy about using an alien plot line.
  • The script was very predictable but what script written for a 15 year old girl isn’t? All you need to include is the typical angst that goes along with teenage love.   I feel like the Andrew Niccol used the Script for Script Writers Handbook.  Wait…. he did, which leads me to my next point.
  • Stephanie Meyer much like Tyler Perry has found a way to make money by continually marketing the same horrible concepts to unsuspecting audiences.  Disagree? Just insert vampires instead of aliens in the plot for The Host. It is the same read, different setting.  I have to respect Meyer just as I do for Perry for their business sense. I can’t respect the art because it is lacking substance.
  • At the beginning of the “big” battle scene the black guys on both sides died. Why would they live?  Has there ever been a relevant black character in any of the movies based on Meyer’s books?
  • Still don’t believe me when I say this movie isn’t worth your Red Box $1? The numbers don’t lie. This movie barely broke even at the box office. I suspect there was just enough money to cut checks and throw a pizza party at wrap.
  • The 50 million dollar budget is evident. I was not blown away by special effects which usually redeem a movie for me.  The vehicles looked like over-sized Hot Wheels, the wardrobe was questionable, and the desert was uninteresting.

The bottom line is this; I know people did not spend money on The Host in the theaters. Don’t give this movie a financial boost by buying it on DVD.  Spending a $1 at Red Box isn’t horrible but any more than that and Stephanie Meyer and Andrew Niccol should be paying you for your time. 

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