Yesterday was day one of diet and the first day for “new” meds. Needless to say I failed miserably. I would like to blame the Monday blues. I would like to but this failure was due to my lack of planning. It usually is.
I made it through the day eating very little. I was on the go and the options for healthy food are limited when you’re broke. This resulted in me being beyond tired, irritated and famished. I should have and could have made a chicken breast and veggies for dinner instead I had tater tot casserole, apple juice and a lot of cookies. I could have walked 2 or 3 miles I opted for a nap instead. After that nap I took more meds, ate more tater tot casserole and went back to sleep
Yesterday was not a complete loss. I tell people all of the time that it is the little things that make a big difference to me. There were a lot of little things that got me through my day. Somebody that I thought didn’t care asked me about my depression. It felt good to be honest about it and talk freely without being judged, and without the normal stigmatizing comments that usually accompany a confession of mental illness. In that moment I felt cared for and special.
I decided to let a situation go. The moment I made that decision, I felt a weight dissipate. How I continue to deal with that situation will be a different blog for another day.
At some point, after my nap and way after I was done feeling sorry for myself I did start thinking about my plans for a diet. One thing I can’t do is starve myself. Being hungry will send me into a mood swing/melt down faster than anything. I weighed the pros and cons of a lot of different diets and even just some lifestyle changes. I may play with being vegan for a while, try removing some things from my diet and substituting others. I’ve never been good with deprivation so that will be one thing I do avoid, instead using moderation.
One of my G+ followers read my blog and sent me a diet I’ll defiantly try. I love when people reach out to me out of the kindness of their heart. Thanks again, Christian Madison.
So its day two of diet and “new” meds. I woke up in a fairly good mood. I felt like I could take on the day. I was motivated. (Meds actually working?) I feel good about myself but I can’t get caught up in these feelings. The fact still remains that my back and hips are constantly in pain because of the extra weight.
I still didn’t do the greatest food wise. I’m working on it. Tomorrow’s goal is to take on the grocery store. I am proud of myself. No major mood swings and I WALKED A LITTLE OVER 2 MILES. Small victories are all I’m asking for right now.