We had a rough start together he and I. There was enough time spent detached from him while he grew inside of me. I was unaccepting of his presence at first. There was so much of my life I had delayed. Selfishness let me believe that his presence would cause more delay. Denial would not let me believe it was my own inaction causing my life’s delay.
Unlike my first baby, I knew my second baby would result in single parenthood. I made THE appointment.
The moment this child was conceived he had at least two people (NOT his ignorant parents) watching over him. They loved him from conception it seems. I’ll never forget their phone call to me. To this day I thank them for his life. I don’t know how or why but their acceptance of him made it all right for me. I began to love him.
Then I knew two things. He was a boy and he would be my last baby.
Damn we had a rough nine months! We went through so much. His uncertain future in my life was just the tip of the ice burg. There was a continuing bout with depression, and a horrible terrible death. Still he thrived. Then finally he was here.
I should have known that he would be my laid back one. Aside from the emotional turmoil there were not very many problems during pregnancy. He even came into this world calm cool and collected. A scheduled c-section with zero complications. My boy latched onto the booby and breast-fed like a champ from day one. He took his bottle with the same enthusiasm. When it was time to wean him he was good with that too. Cup? No problem. I wish I could say the same about potty training but hey little boys have better things to do than learn to aim right away.
And Oh my goodness. I fell madly and deeply in love with this baby of mine. His sister will always be my first love and I love her so differently but just as equally. I can’t even describe how loving him made me such a new person. I learned so much from loving and raising a man of my own making. He has taught me patience first and foremost. I’ve struggled for him and with him through ADHD. He re taught me strength. He’s my quiet and thoughtful child so he taught me reflection. I learned how to slow down and see things from his point of view. I learned that unlike his sister he wouldn’t learn traditionally, teaching him differently became my mission.
I have heard a woman can’t raise a man. But my man knows to remove his hat when he enters a building, he holds doors open and tries to help me carry heavy things. He knows ladies before gentleman and we’re working on that “no hitting girls thing” (sometimes I’ll allow a deserved headlock to that sister of his ). His manners are impeccable. I can’t teach him the “manly” things in life but I can surely raise a decent human being.
I am his only parent and often times his only friend. I’m of course his parent first, but we’re buddies. Never did I think I would know the character’s names in Dragon Ball Z or watch hours of Ben Ten. I’ve played with my share of action figures and been forced to play Star Wars on the 3DS. We play Bey Blades and Bagugan which are not the same thing in case you want to know. I play his version of checkers and chess. But a lot of times we just chill together.