The Shade Report~ Family Ties and Holy Men

0/ I have a question.  It has nothing to do with anything else in this post but everything to do with my incessant commercial viewing.  Is Princess Cruises in any way connected to Carnival Cruises? I hope not because Princess has the friend I’m asking for convinced that she is going to reconnect with her nonexistent husband and share memories with her children aboard an oversized boat.  I just don’t want her to drown or be stranded out at sea for 1000000000 days.


So about this airplane that is missing, I’m asking for myself; how in the eff do you lose a commercial passenger plane? I also need to know how you find an airplane. I have so many questions but they are all a bunch of flabbergasted how’s and some of this: abcidfdiuffnjgsifiufakjgniufhsd.  Moving on…

Sandy Hook still haunts me and gives me chills every time I think about it. Peter Lana’s interview with the Times made me pause.  That has to be the shittiest feelings in the world. How do you hate to love your own child? I can’t imagine the Royal’s doing something so awful that I can’t love them anymore.  My heart would break.

Oh! Speaking of family relations and what not, I was listening to Spare Knowles’ Electric Blue and got to thinking about Father Knowles’ precarious situation again. I love every hair on that spare baby’s head. She is kick ass and uber talented but she can only shine somewhere away from Billboard. She is everything to Shea Butter Twitter. She is our Shero.

I wonder how it feels to be baby Sister to Yonce but imagine if you were Spare Spare Knowles born outside of a 30 year old marriage.  To make it even worse your sister can make or break your parents. Her feelings about the matter are the difference of you shopping at Citi Trends or on Rodeo as she cuts y’all daddy’s pay checks.  *cringe*

Father Knowles petitioned the court for amended child support. He only has to pay 2,500 now. We all have seen Shady Yonce in action so we know she is not going to have any type of mercy on Spare Spare Knowles. Poor baby, his sisters, nephew and niecey pooh are basically royalty. Jules will be featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen and Spare Spare will be reduced to a party featuring Great Value chips and sheet cake. Blue Ivy’s passport will be well worn she will have stayed in all of the World’s best hotels and Spare Spare Knowles will barely be acquainted with Red Roof Inn. It isn’t his fault and it sucks that he is going to be overshadowed for life because Father Knowles can’t keep his ancient penis in his knickers.

Supposedly Marvin Sapp is the numero uno suspect in the disappearance of Mariam Carey. All that posturing he did to make it seem like she was in her crazy all by her damn self and now it’s being revealed that there was a damn relationship!?!?! Mariam is out there not resting in peace and this fucker is being all holier than thou feeding us the “she was disturbed” story. Just being all types of Lucifer and getting a pass. If he did have something to do with Mariam’s demise I hope he has all of the seats exactly where he belongs. I know damn well that God frowns upon murder.

Well, my nap isn’t going to take itself.


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