A year ago Chey B. caught my attention. He made my skin crawl and that earned him a cameo in a paper I wrote entitled; Feminism vs. Misogyny and Sexism (Why We Can’t be here for the likes of Chey B.)
(full paper here; http://wp.me/p2a6y5-mE)
Tonight I listened to a pod cast and all I’ll say is we’re doomed if this is really the relationship advice that we’re listening to.
Recently there has been severe criticism of life coach Chey B. on the social network, Twitter. I was first made aware of his presence by a tweet that could be construed as homophobic. Twitter is a place where random thoughts are condensed to 140 characters at a time. Sensitivity and political correctness is often disregarded. What makes the difference in Chey B’s tweets is that he claims to be a life coach there to uplift and empower women. The following are tweets from Chey B. that have garnered some criticism:
“Ladies: Believe me… you don’t want “equality”. Walk in a man’s shoes for 24 hrs and you’ll be begging to get the perks of a woman again!”
“Make up your mind ladies! Either you want to be on the same level as a man, or you want him to be gentle and cater to you.”
“Ladies: Your degrees are “your” degrees. They’re about as useful to a man as toilet paper. A man wants to know “What can you do for me?”
“Ladies: Your vagina is your negotiating power!”
Chey B. makes the assertion that he speaks for all men and that women would be better off being submissive. Anna Banks said it best in Sexuality Orientation: “I do not like when other people’s views are forced onto me” (Banks, 55), yet his messages are being heard loud and clear whether we want to hear them or not. His messages often go along with the concept; “Feminism does not uplift Black people. It actually divides black men and women” (@theblackguyx via Twitter) Chey has admitted that he targets women. Has taken pride in the hash tag #singlebydesign but yet his whole book is devoted to telling a woman how to get and keep a man. When he is questioned or criticized about his views he often responds with pre prepared, generic answers. He has yet to answer direct questions regarding how his message affects equality.
Other disturbing behavior by Chey B. is his unwillingness to speak directly to men on Twitter that have questioned his viewpoints. If these men are not in total agreement with his views he directs them to his website where they can request one on one advice with him. Instead of backing his views, when challenged Chey B. will make a statement and quickly delete or make the tweet otherwise unavailable. Those who have had direct contact with Chey have had to resort to capturing these tweets via screen shot or other methods of saving the tweets. This tends to happen when he is questioned by bloggers interested in obtaining research material. Chey often tells individuals that disagree with him, that their issue is self-hate. It is disheartening that Chey B. has over 30,000 followers and his messages continue to mock the independence and equality of women.
If there continues to be a following for Chey B.’s advice and other self-proclaimed life coaches with the same damaging messages of submission, further generations are doomed. Chey B. and his counterparts are the gateway to worsening sexist attitudes towards women.