My daughter has made me a better person on so many levels. Your first love often does. I’ve learned so much from this amazing person. I was young when I had her and I had to grow as she grew. I think in the long run I’ve learned more from her.
The most important lesson that I have learned is unconditional love. Of course we love the people that we are obligated to love, but she taught me how to love beyond that. She taught me the true meaning of friendship.
Karin tries to uphold the image of a mean girl but that is very much a facade. A year ago she asked me a thought provoking question. If given the chance who would I bring  back to life? I over thought the question and could not answer. There were too many people that still deserved to be on this earth. This wasn’t a hard question for Karin. She answered with no hesitation:
“Mary’s mother.”
Mary is the Frac in the Fric and Frac best friend Tom Foolery that is Karin and Mary. From what I understand, Mary’s mother passed long before Mary could have any viable memories of her and Karin has certainly never met her. This was long before the girls were ever friends.
The moment she said that, I knew my then 13 year old was one of the wisest people I know. I also knew that her heart was in the right place. Other than the couple of times I’ve had to lecture her on being a good friend she’s always been a great friend and this is one of the thousands of things that she does that make me extremely proud of her.
The moment she told me that she would bring Mary’s mom back if given the chance, I vowed to be a better friend. I would cherish and love my friends. I still struggle with this as I do with so much in life but I have to admit that my friends  give me strength.
Too many times I have told my friends things that I would never tell even my own family. I have cried on their shoulders and received and taken some great advice from them. My daughter taught me how to reciprocate that love.
Now that I have this friendship thing down, and I know that at least one of my children excels at it, it makes me cringe to see how some people treat their friends. They fall out and immediately began to spill the most intimate of secrets. They physically fight each other, and drag each other’s family members into the madness. The time spent cultivating the friendship is forgotten and all of that dissolves into hate.
I can’t imagine why because leave betrayal of the worst kind, I could never abandon my friendships. Is a minor dispute really worth a friendship when the dispute could possibly be solved with a timeout?  Why be so quick to end something when taking a step back would be beneficial?
I have a challenge. Why not try being a better person? If you have a friend or even a family member that you’ve been feuding with, why not take the first step in mending the relationship. Even if you don’t feel you’re in the wrong, make the phone call and apologize. Better yet, why not be a better bigger person in the first place? Before the fight or argument?
Is the issue even big enough to argue about in the first place? It is okay to have a disagreement that does not turn into a brawl. Why does it need to play out on social media? Is the friendship that stable if you’re able to find tons of hateful things to throw a friend’s way? Just be a better friend, see what changes and peace it will bring.

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